The Human Condition

Sitting on the edge

Of fuck all

And I’ve never felt so

Free

I just wish the bodies would

Stop

Moving

And I wish you would pay

For all you did to me

You’ve never breathed

Consequence

You just glide through

The pain

You left me there

Coughing

On my tears and my hate

No matter, no matter

It’s all fun and games

Until the day you

Stop moving

And you’ve burned everything

Like your lips against mine

And your hand on my face

Like my arms around your neck

Like the way you taste

Like the shadows

Of coffins

And Roses

And blood

Like the days we spent

Laughing

Out in the sun

A betrayal

And you don’t feel it at all

Cuz there’s nothing in your

Veins

But the drugs

The alcohol

Metaphorically speaking

It’ll be you that I kill

Oh, wait, I forgot

To hide the damned thrill

Nevermind

Can’t quit smiling now

Because I’m free from your

Fire, your

Ashes, your

Crown

It’s your

Ego

Sets my gut in the rain

I’d go get it but I feel

That it’s hiding your name

What a disaster

Imagine if they could see

The coward you are

And will always be

My bad

I’m supposed to keep my mouth

Shut

You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Just like your slut

Bitter

Is how I’m sounding now

No worries

I’m hanging

In my own black cloud

Comfy

Here all alone

Better than the lie

You have to own

Creature

They won’t admit it

But they hate me

Even more than that they hate

That there’s no hope

Not for me

And my presence confirms that

I hear them screaming at me

At my infestation

Try to shake it out of me and then

I see them turn their heads

Look down

Look away

Sigh

Pretend like they didn’t hear

My continuous whining

Of the creature inside me

The dark one

The one you found

Tried to tame

And gave up on

Turned away from

Because it’s infectious

My disease

I don’t blame you

I don’t blame them

If I could leave it behind with the room

I would too

But it’s something inside of me

And I do sit with its darkness

And I feel it lurking in places I’d much rather

Forget

Drag Me Under

Ceasing is the land of dead

I crawled behind your eyes instead

Falling was the cure I sought

Loving was the demon’s drought

On and on it goes again

Forgive, forget; it never ends

Hold my hand and drag me under

A whistle blows, I abandon slumber

These kisses, they keep killing me

However only existing in dreams

Your voice came from so far away

I only hope it’s there it stays

Your memory is a catastrophe

To any future there is for me

I hide my head and await it to pass

I hate myself for the questions I ask

Beautifully Tragic

Every day, I sit with it

Your nonchalance

Your arrogance

And my confusion

How I stay still

I’ll never know

It baffles me

The way it falls apart

The way it falls back together

So gracefully

So lost

So open and alone

Rhythmically shaping my present

Your past

Our futures

What you’ve become

I cannot say

But I saw the waves in your eyes once

The sunlight on your skin

And I thought

How beautiful

And how beautifully tragic

That you push away the ones

Who see you

And see something beautiful

Something worth fighting for

I saw those things once

But I blinked, you turned away

And then I saw something pitiful

Always Be

Who I am

Who I’m not

Who I used to be

What you are

What you were

Stirring inside of me

Loving, hating

Letting go

Praying, forgiving

Losing hope

Fighting hard to be seen

The part of us that will always be me

Haunting Me

I remember that night

Sitting in the dark

Thinking, you could stop this pain

Just by not being where you are 

Knowing you were knowing

Just what you were doing to me

And knowing you weren’t stopping

Thinking, how sick this love must be

And she was nothing to you

But you were my whole world

Yet she was the one you’d choose that night

And while you explored the body of that girl

I was drowning in what it meant to be loving you

Praying the very thing happening wouldn’t be

Knowing all the while it was

Because I know how you loved that scene

And all I ever did for you and all my love

It meant nothing once you’d made your choice

Yet despite everything you’d done to me that night

I was still relieved to hear your voice

When you came begging for another chance

Crawling on your knees

I loved you so I set my heart on forgiveness

And that’s when you started haunting me

The Truth and Other Lies

Saintly

Am I?

Couldn’t be

Riding on the back

Of self sympathy

Deadly

Are you?

Shouldn’t be

Floating on the air waves

Of devils of me

Reverse Psychology

I hate the empty pit

the shackles

and the dancers

I hate the dust

the misery

the smiles

and the laughter

I hate it when you’re

above me

and I’m always looking up

I hate the pointless details

the fighting

when I’m stuck

You’re a demon I hold onto

when I say my heart is on the mend

But nothing stops its bleeding

and its a message that I send

to my closest friend

She holds the melting candle

but I still feel the burn

Nothing stops me from drowning

when I’ve decided which way to turn

and it’s always my turn

I question my own intentions

but am def to what I see

and I continue to question

the mark you’ve left on me

Is it an omen?

A drug?

Or a gift?

I crawled into a tunnel

where I sat, gazing upon it

Carry me to the brightest end

and I’ll always point toward the other

But lead me to darkness and I’ll fight

for my ceasing lover

Fresh Hell

What fresh hell

spreading its infectious

tumors

into organs without

a name

What fresh hell

squeezing the holder

drilling into

sweetness

exposing all the

veins

This isn’t like the

other times

times of

understanding

and forgiveness

This is like the

knife

that carved out that

willingness

Now he’s hiding like

a child

hands over head

And his own children

are silently crying

surrendering to

their beds

the ones that

she

made

that now

they

have to lay in

The Catalyst

He sets fire

To my fields

My fields

Of flowers

Mine

For the giving

He made it

His

For the taking

And I fucking hate him for it

I’d wish he’d burn

If it would return life

To my flowers

But you can’t

Reverse

A chemical

Reaction

Not in any way

That matters