KD DeFehr

Sometimes I wonder if I could spend my whole life in a story and never feel as though I’ve missed a single thing.


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The Way You Used To Look At Me

The way you used to look at me

With that light in your eyes

Like you could never love another

Even if you tried

And every time you kissed me

I felt like the most beautiful girl

The way you’d hold me and hug me

Like I was your world

And you made me feel smart

And funny

And loved

And I felt like I was flying

Several worlds above

But one day it changed

And when you looked my way

It was with different eyes

And never again did you see me the same


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No Other

Baby, when I miss you

I miss you like no other

And honey, when I kiss you

There could never be another

Cuz you were there every time

Every time I strayed

Reminding me I was good enough

That I’d always find my way

You never doubted my insanity

But saw the beauty in my depth

You caught me when I stumbled

And that’s the reason why I kept

Coming back around to you

How ironic, I do see

The guy that I should fall for

Was always picking up stray pieces of me

Now I’m holding close to something new

Yet as familiar as can be

And that feeling I could only catch moments of

Is now filling up inside me


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Saving Me

I know I’ll find that something

I misplaced some time ago

The freedom that comes with dignity

The bliss of letting go

I can’t remember the last time

I sat alone beneath a tree

Taking in the feel of Earth

Basking in the breeze

Once I walked a lonely shore

Not so long ago

I asked God for some guidance

Or the strength to let go

Today I walk in rain again

And this time I don’t cry

Cuz every time I think of happiness

I see it in someone else’s eyes

So I’ll smile for the memories

And pray for all my sins

Then I’ll take back what you took for granted

And I will love again

But for now I have a special date

With a book and a big oak tree

I’m smiling from ear to ear

And I’m thanking God for saving me


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The Catalyst

He sets fire

To my fields

My fields

Of flowers

Mine

For the giving

He made it

His

For the taking

And I fucking hate him for it

I’d wish he’d burn

If it would return life

To my flowers

But you can’t

Reverse

A chemical

Reaction

Not in any way

That matters


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Walking Away

It’s growing- catching the sun’s rays as it lays there undisturbed by none but Mother Nature’s great sigh. As she exhales it skips a few feet further along the hot, hard artificial terrain, and begins to shrink into the distance. It stops. She’s holding her breath again, allowing me to catch up. The sun is hot. Reflecting off the pavement, so stiff beneath my feet, it blinds me. Squinting through the tears building up around my eyes, I can see the object still growing up ahead. It’s shining as if Mother Nature has beamed the spotlight in the sky directly upon it. It’s calling to me. Or rather, she is. She’s asking for its riddance from the earth but as of this moment, I wish she’d make the ball of fire in the sky take a break behind a cloud. A glance at the clear blue backdrop above me tells me that this is not an option. The sun beams down directly overhead. As I breathe in the air feels warm and dry within my lungs. My mouth is parched and my skin is burnt red. My clothes are sticking to my back and perspiration slides down my neck and face. All I can think of is my destination- an air conditioned building with fountains of cold running water built right into its walls.

I quicken my step, eager to get to that place despite that the heat of my blood warming inside me as I move faster is enough to make me want to collapse. The object is still glinting on the inside edge of the sidewalk, still as can be. As I move past it, my shoe kicks it aside. It rolls into the tall green grass growing beside the pavement and into the shade of someone’s tree.

Mother Nature finally exhales again, sending winds that whip my hair around my face and bite at my eyes. When she calms, the sun’s rays feel ever hotter, as if she’s trying to burn me now as I walk away. The candy wrapper shrinks further into the shadows behind me.

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