Sick Again

The whole world lit you up

Like the angel you are

Like the tears on my cheeks

As I look up at the stars

And remember your hands

Moving across piano keys

But it was never the song

That was capturing me

I’m not alone

When I think back to those days

I still feel it all

Like the warmth of your embrace

And the memory

Keeps me from getting cold

It’s not real but it’s the only

Love that I hold

Never Again

I love you forever

I said never again

But to me you’ll always be

More than a friend

I think of you daily

Denying my will

To just call you babey

My heart’s on stand still

We were a nightmare

A disaster

A mess

I constantly put your nerves to the test

And you were always putting my heart on the line

But I’ve never loved another

Since I kissed you goodbye

On paper there’s never been

A more dysfunctional pair

But we had passion and romance

And the love was always there

For myself, I gotta say

I’d take all the pain in the world

To know and feel love as deeply

As I did as your girl

You were never prince charming

And I was never collected and calm

But I was always more than happy

To be in your arms

And you always came first

I gave every bit of me

Into loving you how I wanted someone to love me

But there was something inside you

And I’m sure it’s still there

That won’t let me be enough

You were always prepared

To write us off whenever you wanted a change

Too often I begged you to stay

And always in vein

Gone

He asks me to dance

And I surrender to him

Falling into his arms

I let my body fold

Limp and numb

Moving against and with his

I disregard all sense of

Responsibility

Control

And I let him chase me

Recklessly into darkness

Tasting his lips with mine

I play the game well

Every time your face flashes

Across my blurring mind’s eye

I take a shot

Pull him a little closer

Feel his hands wander places

Places only you’d taken me before

And we’re gone

Stumbling through doorways

Colliding with walls

And all the while clinging

Not to each other’s souls

But to our bodies

He holds my weight

And I dig my fingers a little deeper

Into his skin

Pushing him backward

So we come to rest on a stranger’s bed

Our eyes never meet

And I’m okay with that

He sheds us of our clothing

And in every touch there’s an

Aggression

That makes me think he’s hurting too

We go higher

Faster

Longer

Recovering each other’s weaknesses

Seeing to places that had forgotten

What it’s like to be wanted

And blocking out all senses

But the sense of touch

And when it’s over all that’s left

Is the sweat and skin between us

For a moment we sit with it

Chests heaving

Staring at the spinning ceiling

And then he’s gone

Without a name

Only then do I realize

I’m gone without one too

No Other

Baby, when I miss you

I miss you like no other

And honey, when I kiss you

There could never be another

Cuz you were there every time

Every time I strayed

Reminding me I was good enough

That I’d always find my way

You never doubted my insanity

But saw the beauty in my depth

You caught me when I stumbled

And that’s the reason why I kept

Coming back around to you

How ironic, I do see

The guy that I should fall for

Was always picking up stray pieces of me

Now I’m holding close to something new

Yet as familiar as can be

And that feeling I could only catch moments of

Is now filling up inside me

Something We Once Knew

Some things just don’t go away

The rising of the moon

Is the setting of the day

But if she’s holding close to you tonight

I don’t mind

Cuz I don’t want you to fight

Love like something we once knew

Sunset walks

Dreams coming true

And if you’re holding her hand

And the smile on your face

Sets a light in your eyes

And your heart is in its place

Then I won’t cry because I know

I gave the most beautiful gift

When I let you go

Stay

I wanna take your hand

And let you lead me into the trees

I wanna open my heart a little wider

After every star we see

I wanna kiss you on the lips

By the lake out under the moon

I wanna know just what it’s like

To be the girl for you

And I wanna go new places

Take a ride in your right seat

And then turn around

Throw a few down

And get a little busy

Mostly what I wanna know

Is what it is that makes you tick

What it is behind that grin of yours

That makes you worth the risk

Cuz with you the nights are always young

Like time just fades away

And all I really want in this world

Is for this feeling just to stay

Stop.

I laugh

Hear the sound and move

Instinctively

To my pocket

Flip open my phone

To share the cause

Look for your name

And stop.

First Love

Breathe it in

Your scent

I’ll miss it

Your arms wrapped around me

Those hugs

Those kisses

I’m sure I’ll move on

But will I ever get over

Those places you held me

Like I was your clover

And then there was your smile

The way it met your eyes

Your lips on my neck

Like a calming lullaby

And the warmth all inside me

When you whispered goodnight

And the way our loved blinded me

Shut out the light

Will I ever see the ocean

Without seeing us there?

Will the future I imagine

Ever lack the little girl

With blue eyes and blond hair?

I swore I’d love you forever

And maybe I will

But babey, I can’t catch you

I can’t keep you still

This may be the last time I say this

So I’ll say it again

You’re the love of my life

You are my heaven

Death Row

How my heart aches

to hear the words you once said

without the trace of a lie

the one I recall being fed

to me and my suspicions

few months ago

Now again I lay waiting

like our love is on death row

And I want to call to you

beg you to say the words

put an end to this suffering

tell me I’m being absurd

But somewhere I know

deep in my soul

the words have run dry

and our story is old

You no longer want me

I’ve been here before

If there’s any lesson you’ve taught me

it’s how to close the door

Because you’ve shown me that my love

is worth basically nothing

but it’s the best I have to give

and so I am nothing

Empty

Every inch of me

is craving you

And it’s lonely in here

In my bones

In my blood

In my organs

It’s empty

in the pit of my stomach

when your arms aren’t around me

Surrounding my body

I wish it was yours I could feel

warm and smooth

so alive, so real

But there’s only dead space

between me and the wall

I brought an extra pillow for comfort

but it doesn’t breathe at all

and it doesn’t hug back

I have a longing

for your touch

for your kiss

that adds a whole new meaning

to the feeling I’ve known as “to miss”

Laying in the dark

when my fingers graze the sheets

I wish it was skin I was was feeling

someone with a heart beat

Sometimes I open my eyes

in the dead of the night

and expect to feel you moving

your face lit with moonlight

I want you to kiss me

on my shoulders

on my neck

whisper that you love me

as if I could ever forget

But for all these nights

it’s just me

and the place between my arms

is feeling way too empty