The Human Condition

Sitting on the edge

Of fuck all

And I’ve never felt so

Free

I just wish the bodies would

Stop

Moving

And I wish you would pay

For all you did to me

You’ve never breathed

Consequence

You just glide through

The pain

You left me there

Coughing

On my tears and my hate

No matter, no matter

It’s all fun and games

Until the day you

Stop moving

And you’ve burned everything

Like your lips against mine

And your hand on my face

Like my arms around your neck

Like the way you taste

Like the shadows

Of coffins

And Roses

And blood

Like the days we spent

Laughing

Out in the sun

A betrayal

And you don’t feel it at all

Cuz there’s nothing in your

Veins

But the drugs

The alcohol

Metaphorically speaking

It’ll be you that I kill

Oh, wait, I forgot

To hide the damned thrill

Nevermind

Can’t quit smiling now

Because I’m free from your

Fire, your

Ashes, your

Crown

It’s your

Ego

Sets my gut in the rain

I’d go get it but I feel

That it’s hiding your name

What a disaster

Imagine if they could see

The coward you are

And will always be

My bad

I’m supposed to keep my mouth

Shut

You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Just like your slut

Bitter

Is how I’m sounding now

No worries

I’m hanging

In my own black cloud

Comfy

Here all alone

Better than the lie

You have to own

Haunting Me

I remember that night

Sitting in the dark

Thinking, you could stop this pain

Just by not being where you are 

Knowing you were knowing

Just what you were doing to me

And knowing you weren’t stopping

Thinking, how sick this love must be

And she was nothing to you

But you were my whole world

Yet she was the one you’d choose that night

And while you explored the body of that girl

I was drowning in what it meant to be loving you

Praying the very thing happening wouldn’t be

Knowing all the while it was

Because I know how you loved that scene

And all I ever did for you and all my love

It meant nothing once you’d made your choice

Yet despite everything you’d done to me that night

I was still relieved to hear your voice

When you came begging for another chance

Crawling on your knees

I loved you so I set my heart on forgiveness

And that’s when you started haunting me

Bleeding Tears

I don’t cry tears

I bleed them

Cough them out of lungs

Spew them from sockets

where eyes once rested

Let them rain over flesh

Poisoning

Crawling

back into the depths of shallow veins

They choke the liver

Squeeze screaming kidneys

Writhing

They drench bones

in their joined monstrosities

I squirm, imprisoned in skin

Howling through open pores

And the metallic tasting tears

lurk  behind and between teeth

Venture up the screeching  jaw

Stretch the muscles so they break

So they cry too

They shake a tormented brain

Racking its skull

and it thunders so heavily against its casket

Splitting ear drums

so they curl

withdrawing into insanity

And I’m digging

Clawing into a chest cavity

to pull its beating – no, its pounding –  content from within

to stop the tears from spreading

Pulling open the gaping hole, I stare

into the pit of  madness

The intestines have found a new place to exist

in the acidity of the stomach

The tears put them there too

and I want to tear them from that place as well

It doesn’t belong

and it feels about as good

as the organ laying in my hand

Fresh Hell

What fresh hell

spreading its infectious

tumors

into organs without

a name

What fresh hell

squeezing the holder

drilling into

sweetness

exposing all the

veins

This isn’t like the

other times

times of

understanding

and forgiveness

This is like the

knife

that carved out that

willingness

Now he’s hiding like

a child

hands over head

And his own children

are silently crying

surrendering to

their beds

the ones that

she

made

that now

they

have to lay in

The Catalyst

He sets fire

To my fields

My fields

Of flowers

Mine

For the giving

He made it

His

For the taking

And I fucking hate him for it

I’d wish he’d burn

If it would return life

To my flowers

But you can’t

Reverse

A chemical

Reaction

Not in any way

That matters

I Hope

I hope she has you falling in love

I hope she’s everything you need

I hope her kisses send you shivers of joy

I hope you feel you need her to breathe

I hope her hands are soft and warm

And she always knows just what to say

Every time you’re feeling sad and blue

I hope she takes that away

I hope your mother loves her

I hope she makes promises she remembers

I hope she makes you feel special

I hope she’s your constant forever

And I hope that you talk of marriage

Of family

Of a home

And I hope she swears she’d follow you anywhere

So you’ll never be alone

But most of all, I hope you trust her

I hope you can’t see a future without

And I hope the look in her eyes leaves you swooning

So you never have a doubt

Now, hunny, here’s the good part

I hope she then crushes you to the bone

I hope she leaves you with nothing

But the pain of being alone

Only then will you have the slightest idea

Of what you put me through

The day that you betrayed me

And the days that followed the end of me and you

When your time does come

I hope you hate yourself for shame

I hope you want nothing more than to hurt yourself

I hope you’re crying out my name

And I hope all the time you see her smiling

While she’s wrapped up with another man

And then someday, I hope you know you’re lucky

Just as I’ve realized I am

Poster Girl

Use her

She dresses like a whore

Abuse her

That’s what she’s asking for

Nothing is sacred

Not the subtle curve of her wrists

Not the blue of her eyes

Or the freckle above her lip

Who would care

That she can play the piano?

Who gives a damn?

It’s all casted in shadow

Because she’s got the type of body

That’s useful for certain favours

And the boys, they get bored

And then it’s hot to enslave her

Tuck a little money in her pocket

That makes it justified

Do you kiss your daddy with those lips?

That’s real cute sweetie pie 

Lucifer’s Kiss

Eyes flaking

Falling apart

Skin shaking

Torn by lines of fault

Her breath scattered through clean breezes of air

Her laughter lingered

Before crumbling there

And she surrendered

Fingers stretched towards the heavens

But her heart fell to the floor

Mastered what couldn’t be forgiven

Nothing mattered now

Not the blood on the walls

Nothing could be forgotten now

And that’s when she saw

Death

Angry

Never scared

She picked her heart up

Tore open her chest

Slammed it in

Only the devil knows the rest

But one thing is for certain

It’s the cancer of hatred

And the body she slaughtered

Was nothing to the soul that was taken

Mind You’re Dead

I’m a lover of life

But I hate my existence

One minute I’m here

Then I’m gone in an instant

I fell from a star

Straight into a grave

To some unheavenly horror

I am a slave

Bound by familiar shackles

I greet terror again

Crouching like an animal

Hiding my head

I claw the walls

I break the floor

You sent me here

And I thought I was adored

I would laugh at stupidity

If my eyes weren’t sealed shut

I’d scream at you

If I thought it’d be enough

But I can’t hear the whispers

Because I’m still hiding my head

And I can’t hear the thunder

Because I’m playing dead

Gun and a Rose

I’m catastrophic

I’m metal on skin

Blood on my hands is nothing

To the blood stirring within

The sun is subtly glaring

While a shadow overgrows beneath

The ageing of this flower

Is the power behind my grief

Stone on stone

Can’t set flame to a fire

Can’t diminish from drowning

If you already breathe water

Spitting out madness

It’s a terrible thing

But it haunts as it taunts

And it lours the seedling

So it’s planted in your skin

And it’s planted in your bones

And you need as you pick

This constant urges it to grow

You itch and you scratch

You dig and you toil

But the screaming within you

Becomes harder to hold

And the messages it’s bringing you

Is like a gun and a rose